The time is five minutes before you leave for your date. You’ve been watching the clock for a near hour now. Scrambling through your closet to find a decent outfit, checking directions for the coffee shop where you will meet, you begin to feel a bit nervous. You wonder if you will be good enough to attract, to romance, to entertain. You are going on a date to seek a deeper connection, with a stranger. It is an odd scenario. But, having confidence in yourself can transform this uncomfortable moment to one of exhilaration. By knowing yourself and knowing what you want, you can become a sexier, more confident date. Here are five ways you can improve your dating swagger.
Confidence begins with what you have inside. Spend some time monitoring the way you speak to yourself, the way you treat yourself. If you have a lot of negativity towards yourself. Change the dialogue. Repeat positive affirmations to yourself, or keep a journal to monitor your inner speech. Loving yourself has nothing to do with selfishness. As a person in this world, you have your own interests, style, humor, talents and you should appreciate them all. Understand that by loving yourself, you enjoy your own thought process. When you enjoy your own thought process, your mind transforms into this curious, fun-loving entity. No longer dragged down by the weight of negativity, your mind looks outward instead of criticizing what is inside. You become your true self, without concern, and are more interested in exploring the world around you. Think about it this way. If you don’t enjoy spending time by yourself, how could anyone else? Be a curious, enthusiastic person. Explore your world and develop your interests. Confidence is knowing who you are and what you want.
Dress with Respect
The first perception of confidence is the way you dress. Invest money and time in a nice wardrobe. Everyone judges you from your appearance. You shouldn’t be particularly caring of their opinions, but a decent wardrobe will show a confident, expressive person. The simplest boost to the wardrobe starts with the feet. Nothing speaks more about confidence to another person than your shoes. Don’t wear those ragged sneakers, or those cheap, tame dress shoes from five years ago. Show your character through your shoes. If you want to experiment with a flashy sneaker combo, go for it. If you want to look slick, buy a dress shoe that is normally out of your price range. Break out of character and invest in nice pair. Shoes come in so many varieties and styles, our feet have become the most self-expressive item in our wardrobe other than accessories. If you want to add some more personality, go with accessories. Wear a nice watch, a patterned scarf, a blazer. Look through magazines and focus on how the designers take standard outfits to the next level by adding a contrasting texture, a splash of color, or a pattern. Experiment with your wardrobe. When you find a good combination and are looking good, your confidence will beam and you will turn heads.
Make a Plan
Everyone enjoys being spontaneous. But, for a date, it is important to take the time to find a fun activity. Align the date spot with your interests and personality. Make yourself feel comfortable, yet intriguing. Nothing looks worse than showing up for a date and aimlessly looking for a place that might be interesting. Your date will see that you really didn’t put a lot of thought into the date, or worse, you don’t know what you are doing. By having a plan, you will have the opportunity to show your interests and personality. Thinking about that bar with skeeball? Or that coffeeshop with a small art gallery? Now is your chance to finally go. Be adventurous. Get out of your comfort zone. These are necessary attitudes for a fun date. Each day we should explore something new and exciting. The fun part of datings is you get to explore something new with another person.
Don’t Overthink It
Body language is the unspoken dialogue. We listen to advice concerning the amount of eye contact, keeping your body relaxed and open, pointing your heart to the person. Remember, it is your subconscious for a reason. You can’t control it all the time. The subconscious is your honest and true self communicating to the other person. Why would you want to interfere with needless thoughts? And, if we try to control these movements such as eye contact and body position, our actions look fake, unauthentic. So, you are told to make a lot of eye contact with a person. On the date, your thoughts are focused on how much eye contact is enough, how much is too much, rather than focusing on enjoying the company of your date. Don’t be too cognizant of these movements or you will drive yourself crazy. If you love yourself, trust yourself, let your subconscious do as it may. If you are genuinely interested, your subconscious will show it. If you are not so interested, don’t fake it. Change something quickly about the date. Change the scene, or pace. Make it interesting for yourself. If you are bored, chances are they are bored. Trust your instincts.
A confident person will show their best and enjoy the effort without a concern for results. Moments before the date, you may wonder if the date will meet our expectations, or if you will feel comfortable around the other person. Nerves may develop as we dress ourselves or travel to the date spot. But, these nerves are developing because you may be imagining all the things that may go wrong. You may not feel so assured about yourself. A confident person won’t have these thoughts. They believe that whatever happens in the end is for the best. So, stop concerning yourself over the idea of a successful date. Simply enjoy the date. If the person is a good match, then go on another date. But, don’t try to fit a square peg in a round hole. I think all of us have been in those relationships where we knew the date didn’t feel quite natural, but forced ourselves to anyways so that we would feel successful. Then, months later, we wonder why we are stuck with this person. If the person is not right for you, move on. You may miss an opportunity to find your match.
A confident date will know who they are and what they want. Express this amount of confidence in the way you speak to yourself, the way you dress, and the activities that you choose for the date. Remember to love yourself and trust your instincts. Don’t think about all the laws of body language, or making sure you are a good date. All of these concerns will be taken care of if you truly appreciate yourself and have a genuine interest in the other person. You are on a date to seek a deeper connection with another person. Enjoy yourself; enjoy the other person. Enjoy the effort and have a good time. If you stay true to yourself, you may feel the a moment when a person both empowers you and makes you feel vulnerable. This is the moment when you are swept off your feet. Enjoy the ride.